The system incorporates a Wiegand proximity card and reader, integrated with an iris scanner, which the manufacturer claims is “the world’s smallest and most reliable.” Each user is also issued with a minor celebrity who will vouch for them at the building entrance, if required.
Celebiometric head of CEO and sales overlord Perry Nayman said the new system was developed in response to the prevailing economic and cultural downturn.
Nayman said: “In this age of austerity and rising unemployment – and in the current climate of massive sudden celebritization – we thought that utilising the surplus celebrity stockpile in an efficient and robust access control solution would benefit not just those using the system but society as a whole.
“Businesses and institutions using the Celebiometric Access Solution can rest easy knowing they are contributing, in a very real way, to David Cameron’s much-vaunted ‘Big Society’ – helping get the unemployed back to work and benefitting each and every one of us individually.”
Big names
Some of the ‘celebrities’ already involved in the scheme include that Derek guy from off Big Brother one year, Keith Chegwin, Gareth Gates, Amanda Platell, and one of Trinny or Susannah (yet to be established).
Simon Fanning, who is using that guy Derek from Big Brother one year as his ‘Celebiometric extra triple authentication tool’, is very happy with the results.
He said: “I’ve had no trouble getting in the building at all, and that Derek guy has some really funny stories to tell. He is a bit posh, but you get over that after a while. It’s nice to have someone to go to lunch with.”
All of the celebrities involved with the new system carry unique biological markers so they can be identified easily if stolen. For instance, Platell has a tattoo of a small dog on the viscera surrounding her heart. And Chegwin’s internal organs are all located in the upper third of his body, leaving the majority of his insides empty (useful for storing snacks and beverages). A quick x-ray will simply and efficiently reveal if the celebrity is the genuine article.
The system is currently available only in the UK but there are plans to distribute in markets with celebrity stockpile overflows around the world.
Celebiometric developed the amazing new product with help from the University of Lyffe in Belgium – the institution behind 2009’s Robocow CCTV cow.
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